Hunger Comfort Hygiene Energy Fun Social Bladder Room Nicotine

Reach for the lasers with Antic's Sims-ulator!

Sleep good. And in the dark my house should look fine, right?

Date:	2005-01-18 02:31
Subject:	Feeling Quiz
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be
considered cruel and cold, but you just don't
really care about anything. This is just the
way you are... you're quite a challenge to get
close to, and others may perceive you as
boring.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

Date:	2005-01-12 00:46
Subject:	vacation seriously needed
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah

I need a vacation so I started pricing things out to head back to Vancouver. What can I say? (Canada = crack)

There's a Stargate Atlantis convention happening in April, but tix are still showing on the website at $500. As in US$500, which is more than my rent. (Which reminds me that it's late.) Or I could go back to Gatecon in July for US$225. I'm so freakin' poor. Why can't I just sell my body for money like all the other (Canada =) crack whores. Then I checked transportation costs from Denver to Vancouver. Bus should still be $160, but the plane was $321. I don't get it, didn't the plane guys lower the fares. And there's accommodations needed also. Hostel @ CAD$12/night or hotel @ $120/night. Guess which one's in my price range. Never mind the fact that I'd like to eat and get autographs.

I'd like to take this opportunity to announce that I am available for full adoption or even just a sponsorship. I'm a good kid, well-behaved and partially college educated. I work in the medical field (so I've got lots of experience pretending to care) and can make old-fashioned mixed drinks, like "Angel's Tit".

Barring finding adoptive parents, which at my age really is a long shot, I'd also like to announce that I am romantically available. My first choice would be Viggo Mortensen so if you happen to know him, please give him my email address. ;) Seriously though... I'm definitely feeling like Christmas Cake here. Oh, that's a Japanese thing, and even though I'm not Japanese I did get heavy exposure to their cultural ideals during some of my formative years. Damn that Gordon-sensei; just kidding, I love that man! See here (do a CTRL+F for "cake"):
http://www.sasked.gov.sk.ca/evergreen/tensoc/activity/unit2/act12.html
http://lists.herald.co.uk/old-archives/lois-bujold/971023-934

Really, I need to get off the internet (and, um, get off too) and go to bed. I called into work sick yesterday because I had cramps. Yes, I did really have cramps, I laid in bed half the day trying to pretend I didn't and do something fun instead. Finally, I played some Tropico, which is an island dictator simulation game. I like communism, I've discovered, but you've really got to be capitalist to get good numbers of tourists coming into the island. It's great to diversify, but truly there's more money in exporting canned pineapple. Oh well!

Take the quiz: "WHAT RELIGION BESTS SUITS YOU?"

Pagan/Occultist
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Spending your entire life searching various forms of philosophy and religion, you choose to observe everything and believe little. You're personality is one of truth seeking, nature respecting and god/goddess accepting. Lastly, you don't judge anyone, but if annoyed, you will exact some form of revenge. You don't believe in the Three-Fold Law.

Date:	2005-01-09 12:38
Subject:	cigarettes rant
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off

Some fucked up tobacco tax passed here and now cigarettes cost $30 a carton. WTF? I'm an adult, if I decide that I want to pollute my own body, who has the right to stand in my way. Do you realize how much fucking alcohol I could buy with $30? What are they using that extra money for? Why can't we have an extra "fuck you NRA bastards tax" instead? I mean, that's really something that you don't need, but people instead on anyway. Or an SUV tax? Or a gold tax? Sure, people who smoke (like me, dammit) are probably killing themselves, but usually they just make other people sick. Alcohol is involved in drunk driving and kills not just the drunk, but passengers and pedestrians, too. And if some stupid ass bitch smokes while she's pregnant (I do know several of these shining examples of motherhood), the baby has low birth weight and asthma. Of course, the ladies I know all delivered babies over 6lbs, and hell my mother wasn't a smoker and I was still only 4lb 7oz. Personally I think I may have been heroin-exposed, but I don't have any evidence of it, that's just guessing from my mother's oh so wonderful later treatment of me. Drinkers' babies are totally FAS-retarded. Neither situation is good for the baby but if I were a kid I'd prefer a relatively regular life with an inhaler rather than 13 years of special ed classes and a job bagging groceries. But what the fuck do I know. I'm just a nasty filthy smoker who complains about the extra tax that my fellow Coloradoans voting against me on. Fucking voters! But at least I can still smoke (my way to fucking expensive cigarettes) in bars, casinos, and restaurants. Poor NYC bastards, I don't even want to visit there now.

Date:	2005-01-07 00:46
Subject:	canada
Security:	Public
Mood:	listless

This is what I'm talking about, why I belong up there and not down here = progress.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2004/12/15/notes121504.DTL&nl=fix

Although, apparently The Big C is now the land of free porn and candy. I can live with that.

Date:	2005-01-07 00:12
Subject:	wonder 'bout
Security:	Public
Mood:	nostalgic
Music:	Utada Hikaru - Exodus CD

How many nights did I wander in the dark?
Counting secrets of my heart
Now and then, I wonder 'bout
Whose seeing, sleeping with you now
How many times did I kiss you in the dark?
Watching memories depart
Then again I wonder 'bout
But I don't give a damn about you

Date:	2005-01-05 18:42
Subject:	good day
Security:	Public
Mood:	optimistic

Okay, so it started as a bad day but I stuck through it.

First I had to go to work because my toilet at home if kinda backed up and I had to do #2. Yeah, you wanted to know that. Plus there was that work thing to do. The good thing from work situation is that I got tons of work done while slacking off. Go me!

Then I came home and things looked a little bad for a second. I couldn't get the cable to come on. I figured it might not matter, until I checked the tv guide online. Lost has a new show tonight. I freaked, but I managed to get the thing to work. Now, I'll be able to watch new Lost. Go me!

Then I had to pee. Now for the last 2 days the toilet has been halfway flushing. It would fill with water (almost overflow actually), then the water would slowly drain. But the toilet paper stayed, so definitely broken. My house is too trashed to call maintenance, so I plunged it a few times with no change. Today I decided to just attack it! I plunged and plunged and plunged. Oh, it was awful because the task of plunging (no matter how clean the water actually is) always makes me gag. So I pulled out the plunger and flushed. The water came all the way up to the edge and was 1/2 inch from going over, then... it ALL went down the drain. Happy, happy! Go me!

You know, it really is the little things that make life sooooo good.

Date:	2005-01-05 08:11
Subject:	walk to work
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off

It's 1 fucking degree outside and I walk a mile to work. Lovely, just lovely! If I knew that the hopeless bitches could manage without me, I'd stay home. Fuck the paycheck! But I'm going; I just don't have to like it.

Date:	2005-01-01 19:54
Subject:	state quiz
Security:	Public
Mood:	relaxed

You're Washington!

Though you were named after some ancient and revered relative, you've
taken off on your own course and are making a new name for yourself. Water dominates
your life, surrounding you on many sides and usually from above. Though you say you
love rain, it's really that you've forgotten that there are other types of weather to
hold an opinion on. You have an amazingly eclectic interest in walls, spokes, yaks,
seats, and even the Olympics. It'll all come out in the wash.


Take the State Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Date:	2005-01-01 19:48
Subject:	a different country quiz
Security:	Public
Mood:	surprised

You're Israel!

Though a victim in the past, you've learned very little from this and
have encouraged a cycle of violence in your life and the life of many you know.
 You're a little paranoid and somewhat schizophrenic, causing you to promote
both hatred and hope in cycling intervals.  Some of the paranoia is justified, as
a lot of people don't like you, but more people are helping you than you'd ever really
admit to.  At this point, you live on some valuable property and would benefit
greatly from just giving peace a chance.
Take the Country
Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Date:	2004-12-29 22:10
Subject:	save me from my fucking self!
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated
Music:	BoA - My Name (Chinese)

I've just spent 2 hours talking to the imaginary people in my head about:

* Japan's writing system
* Jpop and why I like it
* China's occupation of Tibet
* a woman in Bhutan that I want to give money to
* karma and its effects on reincarnation
* the formation of Eritrea
* capitalism and socialism
* taxes and what they pay for (and is it really worth it)
* funding of public colleges and privacy laws

But through all that I knew I was just talking to myself so I'm not delusional. I just think that it's kind of sad that I'm such a nerd. I mean, other people with 2 extra hours on their hands watch TV (even reruns) or a movie, listen to music, have fantasies about Orlando Bloom or Heath Ledger (or OB & HL), or call up a friend. I review things I've learned to keep them firm in my mind. I suck.

I should go do something brainless instead like masturbate to internet porn.

Date:	2004-12-27 01:46
Subject:	yep, still awake
Security:	Public
Mood:	ditzy
Music:	Britney Spears (yeah, shoot me)

I should really go to sleep, but ya know I went to sleep at 7am Sunday morning. I then slept until 6pm, so obviously I'm still awake as that was less than 12 hours ago. I did read some Legolas/Gimli slash though.

Then I looked up GapKids fashions to see just how cute my daughter would look (if I had one, that is). Of course, the girls' clothes were made of velour and that reminded me of Aaron Stanford. Then I got a strange hankering for a velour track suit in burnt sienna and a box set of Johnny Cash. And of course, Mr. Stanford also makes me think of fire which always makes me think of cigarettes, so I also smoked some of my ultra precious cigarettes. Kind of like now. But I still may be able to get this pack to last until Friday, which is sort of a holiday, so who knows if I'll even have money in the bank then. If I don't have money... I don't know how I'm going to pay my therapist because I'd prefer not to give him a check (I bounced one there before).

Ashe (over at StanfordWank) is sharing some soundfiles from the big AS's movie, Rick. Some of the files totally remind me of Brian. Oh, yes! I'm supposed to write about him. Long story short:

Brian is an old friend of BF's from Job Corps. White guy, my age (mostly, he just turned 26), electrician, total dick, closet homosexual. See, I think he screwed me only so I'd tell BF "oh, he did me so I doubt he's a friend of Dorothy". Only Brian isn't a friend of Dorothy because he's not anybody's friend, the bastard. Yes I'm bitter. I want a boyfriend dammit! And he's available, therefore... Over the space of a year, I had sex with him 4 times. He's... well, passive comes to mind, but that's not quite the right word. Oh, I mean in bed, he wants me to touch him and caress him. "Tickles" he calls it. So I told him (to his face) Anton Lavey says you're a fag because "real men" don't like massages, unless they are dick massages, men are touchers, not touchees. Apparently only homosexual men are heavy into getting massages. As I know no straight men I haven't been able to ask anybody is this is true. It's just fucked up because I want to be caressed, not feel up some hairy fool. Oh, then there's a conversation that BF insists they had where Brian said he was attracted to men, but "would never cross that line".

Where the fuck are the straight, normal guys who like me??!! Seems like there are only 50 year old black guy pimp-types on Medicare (read: disabled) who want to bump nasties with me. "Are you married?" "Yes, happily." "Where's your ring?" "My religion doesn't wear rings." "What religion is that?" "Greek Reconstructionism." "Oh, Greek Orthodox." "No, not like that at all." "You sure you're married?" "Yes, happily. Here's your paperwork (ie, kindly get the fuck out of my office)." That said, I will gladly take Christopher Judge or Peter Jackson (the Canadian actor who played Apophis on SG-1), but I'm pretty sure they are both both taken, with kids.

But, yeah... mainly white guys. Of course, I haven't had much luck with them either. Maybe I should become a Moonie so I can get a husband assigned to me. But the Moonie leader is all weird. I read that he once gave a speech to all these politicians and celebrities and started talking around eating boogers. Weird, but too weird, ya know. Like Virginia Hey (woman who played the blue chick on Farscape) is weird; I heard her give a speech at Gatecon and somehow she ended up talking about Asian transvestites. But her weird is innocent and cute. Plus when she immigrated to the US from Australia, she insisted that he cats come too. I respect that.

Maybe one of these days I'll look up Whitey (long story). But he moved away and I don't remember his last name. But I still might be able to find him on the internet, because I'm just good like that.

Hmm, still with the velour and Cash. Maybe I'll spend my B&N gift card on some Cash instead of preordering Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. That might work, but still... I mean, I'm kinda joking about the Cash (but not the velour, booya). OK, maybe I'm joking about both. :) I'll be back.

You scored as Canada. You’re polite, friendly and pretty much an all around nice person. Everyone wants you at the party but at the same time no one really cares if you don’t show. You might consider hitting the gym once in a while. </td> Canada 85% France 75% Kyrgyzstan 45% Great Britain 25% United States 25% What country are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Yay! And to think that bastard Brian made fun of the Canadian flag I have hanging in my house.

You scored as Fascist Dictator. You have strong work ethic and think that the government is doing a bang up job. Well, it would be a little better if you were in it. Everyone is inferior to you and all your glory. You know how to run a country and make money doing it. If only it weren't for the disabled, elderly, poor, ethnic people. Hitler had the right idea . . . </td> Fascist Dictator 71% No good dirty poop eater 50% Dirty Hippie 46% Pop Star Princess 43% Baby Jesus Lover 43% What kind of human are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Very interesting, because in my latest departure from reality I'm Queen Laetoli of the first lunar kingdom. Hmm, guess I would be a good ruler after all. :)

You scored as Chaotic Evil. A Chaotic Evil person is destructive to the extreme. These people put no value in life or beauty, taking pleasure in destroying both what is good and what is ordered. They have little to no respect for laws and the rights of others. Revenge is a powerful motivator for these people. </td> Chaotic Evil 80% Chaotic Neutral 70% True Neutral 70% Lawful Evil 65% Neutral Evil 65% Neutral Good 55% Chaotic Good 35% Lawful Good 30% Lawful Neutral 20% What is your Alignment? created with QuizFarm.com

Aren't I just an awful person?

I got home around 3am or so. Tinkered with my LJ this whole time. I like the way it looks now, except for the damn 24 hr clock. I hate that part.

I hate lots of things as you'll soon find out. Including my friends. I got really fucked up presents. I've decided to rate them using a 5 star system and offer commentary so this incident won't be repeated in the future. Ok, in no particular order:

From BF's ExBoyF and his new BoyF (the illegal alien): Gift Set including beaded feathery evening bag, nail polish and lip gloss (both sparkly). One thing to keep in mind when shopping for me is that I'm a lazy slob, therefore I don't wear makeup usually. Truly, not even gloss and if Mai (my Vietnamese manicurist) doesn't do my nails, they ain't getting done. And I ran out of money to give her so you can imagine what they look like. However, I will try the gloss and while I'll probably never go anywhere that I can take the bag with me, I do acknowledge that it's cute and will fit a pack of smokes. 2.5 of 5 STARS

From new BoyF's sister (another illegal alien, but her daughter was born in the US so what the hell): Incomplete Bath Set. No really, incomplete. I just flipped the package over to figure out what exactly flavor/scent this stuff is supposed to be. There's nothing like that listed, but the package clearly lists 5 products inside. I'm missing the Body Moisture Spray. Extensive sniffing of all products present reveals a sort of feminine spicy musk, not my first choice, but at least it isn't floral. Due to the missing spray I can't regift it and due to the fact that I like totally different scents, I will get no use out of this. 2.5 of 5 STARS

From BF's ExBoyF and his new BoyF (wow, a second present): Nail Gift Set including multiple polishes (base and top coats also), cuticle creams, various metal instruments, nail file, and those nifty foamy toe separators. Complete, too, it seems. Now of course, I may have told these guys about my breakup with Mai (probably, because I tell everybody my business because I think I'm very interesting and entertaining), so this is a pretty thoughtful gift actually. Initially I did hate it, but the toe separators have won me over and I may actually get some use from this one. However, the polishes look really awful and the creams look like they've already started to harden. I haven't figured out what store it came from so I doubt I'll regift it. 3.5 of 5 STARS

From BF's ExBoyF's new BoyF's (gay) friend (actually a naturalized citizen who refuses to vote and really what's up with that?): Cella's Chocolate Covered Cherries. Now it's true, I love cherries, but only when they're fresh. These little impostor bastards will sit here until my pseudo-anorexia breaks and I start a binge, and even that's no guarantee I'll eat 'em. I've actually found that no matter how hungry I am, there's some shit I just can't eat. However chocolate is chocolate so these have a very high regift value. 4 of 5 STARS

Incidentally, my presents from work's secret santa scheme would be rated 4.5 of 5 STARS. Very little commentary except for 1 great foods that I like, 2 wonderful regifting value, and 3 gifts would have been rated perfect if my secret santa had given me all 3 books that make the Lemony Snicket movie (forsaking some of the food stuff earlier), instead of just two out of three. Of course you need to understand that my temporary boss, the clinic's financial counselor (and my secret santa), had us fill out cheat sheets with favored foods, drinks, candle scents, and characters. In a surprising twist, I pulled my temp boss's name out of the basket.

When I assigned a rating, I did try to factor in the value of the gifts I got the givers:

BF's ExBoyF and his new BoyF: $0 (so priceless, right?) I regifted them a very nice Martha Stewart Pound Cake Pillar Candle with Heavy Metal Stand. I hadn't bought them anything and couldn't just show up empty-handed.

The Sister (not mine, the illegal one): $15 (for a woman I see about every 2-3 months and can barely speak to as she doesn't really speak English) I got her a gift set of 9 mini lip glosses in a variety of colors from Avon's Mark line. I bought it about 3-4 weeks ago, when I was planning on doing more shopping.

The Sister's Toddler: Zero, zilch, nada. And frankly I'm glad; the little brat made a killing. There were 4 baby dolls alone, she couldn't fit them into the new baby doll stroller she got. Then there was lots of screaming when she was told that she had to wait til Christmas to open the rest of her many, many gifts.

The Naturalized Friend: Nothing. I didn't even regift him anything. If I had have been paying more attention I could have planned my gifts better, but I didn't (even considering stuff I had at my house already). So... no reason to complain about getting slimy old cherries, is there?

Okay, so I will work harder to give good gifts in the future, but I want good stuff in return. Here are some examples.

I like food: cheese and sausage sets (a little impersonal and cliche, but I love them so it doesn't matter), chocolates but I hate dark chocolate (bitter) and dislike large amounts of white chocolate (too sweet), wine coolers (silly and girly and not all bitter like what grownups drink), and GOLDFISH which I could see myself killing for because they are just that good.

I like jewelry: I prefer silver and love little variety packs of earrings (love small to medium hoops), solid bracelets and necklaces either plain or with a single charm on them. I like shoes and clothes too: go ahead and buy me a gift certificate (I love Express but I'm boycotting them due to their rude ass credit card customer non-service bitches, so pick a store similar to them) or if you must you can get me size 9 boots (winter), flirty mules or slingbacks (summer), I fucking love pointy toes (because they're "doity") and take a heel 3" or less with a sharp preference for slim heels, I wear a size 6 pants and small shirt (no turtlenecks), buy blue black or purple, and I don't do khaki pants because I keep managing to permanently stain them with some sort of oil on the tops of the thighs (I swear I'm not wiping my hands on my pants during lunch, so WTF?), I like plain, plain, plain body hugging clothes, I've learned to function without pockets, don't bother buying me panties (I don't wear them, well rarely anyway, probably this year I've worn panties less than 10 days total), but I do wear a size 34C bra (when I wear one), actually I'm uneven so I prefer these things called bralets (or maybe bralettes) because they fit better, but I'll also take bras filled with either air or liquid, and I have a special place in my heart for socks (seriously, plain to novelty, I love them).

I love games: don't buy me a damn thing, just play a game you already have with me, I like everything but Risk; if you do buy me a game you could get me Tetris or Blackjack on a little handheld game if you don't have a lot of cash, or if you have lots of cash I'm still on PS1 and need to be upgraded (no real preference on systems, just something with good RPGs, I like magic and alien though not military and shooter stuff), you could make my day by finding Dance Dance Revolution (like the dancing video game machines in archives) on PS1 and getting me the little portable dancing platform too, and finally if you really really love me you will know that I already bought The Sims2 but my computer is too outdated to play it so you will just get me a new PC (but I'll be too busy having sex with you to play much Sims2).

I love books, music, and DVDs (video is meaningless in this house): gift certificates, gift cards, electronic gift certificates. Basically I never know when I'll break down and buy myself something, so it's best to give me the certificate. Last Christmas a coworker got me Lord of the Rings Vol 1 (of 3), I felt awful because I already bought the complete LotR as a single book waaaay before that. Really the only thing you can buy me at a bookstore that is guaranteed that I'll love, use, and don't already have is Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans (but don't buy too much because I hear that the flavors are awful, I just want to try them though). And at a music store you could get me a compilation of electronica (stay away from faggoty dance, I've heard enough of it at ExBoyF's house and going out with them to last my entire life), disco, hair metal, grunge, and nu rock (if you can find a comp, it's Linkin Park and other white boys rapping over rock). Incidentally, I hate Kid Rock, Celine Dion, gospel, rappers who are thug "killaz" or smoking blunts or banging bitches (basically I only like insecure whiny or weirdly cool rappers like Eminem and Missy Elliot), Christian anything, and most C&W (especially that bullshit song about killing people because it's the American way, but on the same page I support Dixie Chicks because the enemy of my enemy is my friend so buy me that). But you could always take my likes and make me a mix CD, how very indie. As for movies, find the section labeled "Adults Only" and get me something with a lot of variety in acts, orientations, and people, but without any plot. Unless the movie has been rated as amazing and it's so totally worth it specifically for the plot, then it's erotica and not porn and you're probably more comfortable buying that rather than "Six Hour Fuck Blitz, Vol 14". Remember when I said get me a gift certificate, well yeah I was serious. Better yet, pick a day and let's go to the movies. There's totally stuff I want to see, but nobody wants to go with me. The bastards. I've seen 4 of the last 5 theater movies by myself.

I love favors though wholly and truly: fuck all that material bullshit, just spend time with me. Take me shopping, I'll pay for my stuff and you'll drive. When I say I'm going on vacation, say "how long do you need me to watch your cat for you". When I'm at the hospital ER because I've gone completely insane and started crying in front of all my coworkers, say "Oh, poor Lexa, I'm on my way there right now" and don't fucking blow me off to go eat dinner at your fucking friend's house. I love my gods and I believe they are true because that night that BF's ExBoyF and the new BoyF left me at the ER, when they were on their way to the other friend's house, a car slammed into them and destroyed their car. It's not a nice thing to have happen, but it's also not a nice thing to leave your "friend" stuck in the ER when the staff say she can't leave until a friend comes to take her home and she's not supposed to spend the night alone. Incidentally, BF was working a split shift at the bus company and was somewhere in the wilds of the city, unreachable. I was finally released due to lack of overt violence or suicidal idealization (and the fact that the ER got slammed with more acute cases) and walked to BF's house and sat on the stoop until he came home from work.

Basically, I'm still pissed about that shit. Makes me what to change all the ratings, that does. I think I'll have an orgasm and go to bed. The time stamp says something different, but it's now 6:45am. I can see dawn starting to happen outside the window. I do have a therapist, but it seems he's not overly concerned with my interpersonal relationships. Maybe that means I'm actually OK. :) I do have to tell about Brian at some point, but kinda tired now, so I'm going to make one last sweep on various sites for late breaking news and then be gone.

Date:	2004-12-24 21:10
Subject:	helloooooo!
Security:	Public
Mood:	ecstatic
Music:	hurray, the phone!

I'm still fucking waiting for a ride to get to bf's exboyf's house! I haven't eaten all day (except for some potato chips and cheese) and I'm really starting to get pissed off. I knew I shouldn't have even tried to get anybody any presents. Bastards! ExBoyF said we were going to eat between 8 and 9 and look at the time. Oh, he's lucky I'm too lazy to put a spell on him. Oh, yeah = so not Quaker anymore. I'm now Hellenic neo-Pagan, sort of... I have incense, okay.

In other news, I don't get paid again until next week, but I'm on my last pack of fags now. Somebody buy me more as a present: Camel Lights Hard Park. Oh, I'll also take any of the Camel specialty blends because I'm a pretentious bitch. I thought I was going to quit smoking when Liv Tyler did, but fuck that quitting bitch! Now I'm hanging in until Queen Margrethe quits. If I remember correctly she's a Scandinavian queen who's at 3 packs per day of strong-ass Greek cigarettes. I want Greek cigarettes, too. Or maybe I'll just stick with Camels.

I have a headache and my head needs to be shaved. There was a sort of incident with my hair. Lack of conditioner has made it shrink back onto itself and lock. So now I have completely gross and uneven dreadlocs. Matter of fact, I shouldn't even say dreadlocs because that's actually a style. I have a Greek tragedy on the top of my head. Barring divine interference, this head of hair is totally unsalvagable...

Date:	2004-12-24 19:10
Subject:	whatever
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious
Music:	silence, waiting for the phone

I'm not new to LJ by any means, in fact I'm really freakin' old. I lost my password and it turns out that I haven't used it since 2002. I've since dropped that email account so LJ is like 'who, what'. You can check out my old journal under "luh"; no, I don't know how to make the link with the little icon of the person (and I'm not sure I care either).

Somedays I really love "me". I read my old journal and was seriously impressed with my old self. Incidentally, I'm now around Lexa 2.3 in terms of updated me. Too bad I lost the password and wasn't able to update; I've had some pretty interesting times since then.

Big things: no longer celibate (it had been 5.5 years), but not a slut either (=Brian, he's an asshole who brings my lifetime sex count to 3 guys, 6 total times). I gave the guinea pigs to the pound and still have my evil cat. Still friends with my (still Catholic) best friend who still works for the bus company. Still at the medical clinic, many dept transfers later. I got my tubes tied because I'm completely fucking insane and really don't want to pass that on. But if I marry Prince William obviously I'll have to get them untied so I can make the heir and a spare. Leftenent Bliss broke finally and I'm now onto a burgundy vibe of the same make and model. Again, I am bipolar; I had a breakdown last October 2003, but no violence this time, hurray.

I'm going to best friend's ex-boyfriend's house. Ex now has new illegal alien boyfriend... yeah. Hope to have good food and there better be presents for me. I'm still an insomniac so I assume that I'll be posting more of my thoughts here when I get back home.

ps
fuck spellcheck, this entry only. I'm just really hating it right now for some reason. Yeah, completely fucking insane. BTW, I'm supposed to be on Risperdal (antipsychotic) and Paxil (antidepressant), but they destroy my (self) sex drive. Gods save us all.